July 7th Humor

* The Police Station had been quiet for most of the week . Things were so slow that detectives were playing cards to pass the time.  “What a life,” grumbled one of the officers, “no fights, no thefts,  no drunks, no murders, nothing.”   “Now rest easy Mike,” said the captain, “things will break soon. You got have more faith in human nature.”

* The detective questioned the burglar,”You admit having broken into the same dress shop four times. What did you steal?” “A dress for my wife, she made me change it three times.”

After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the judge suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and his proof of community service that way the judge said, “You can kill two birds with one stone.”