July 8 Humor

* The head of our local air ambulance service, Vern, was manning the information booth at the county fair. An elderly woman approached him and said, “I live across the street from the community hospital.” Burton cringed because for years the only helicopter pad was on the street in front of the hospital. He was sure she was going to complain about the headache that helicopter made going in and out. The lady said, “I’m so glad to finally get to meet you and thank you so very much for all the times you saved me from having to rake my lawn.”

@ Why is it that people are so delighted and amazed when they see a whale leap from the ocean and crash back into the water, but I do one belly flop in the pool and suddenly I’m a jerk?

# The 84-year-old retired stockbroker was admitted to our hospital intensive care unit, suffering from a peptic ulcer and in shock from internal hemorrhaging. As intravenous lines were started in fluid infused his vital signs improved rapidly nurses dramatically announced his blood pressure readings as they started to climb from the the shock level of 60 and increased to 70… 80…  90… there was no doubt about the patient’s successful recovery when, and midst of her intonations. He suddenly yelled, “when it gets to 110, sell.”