June 17th Humor

* My wife and I were playing trivia for dummies when she amazed me by answering correctly that there are seven rays in the crown of the Statue of Liberty. “How in the world did you know that?” I asked. Rolling her eyes, she answered, “Duuuuh, the seven original colonies.”

A burglar’s wife was being cross examined by the prosecutor: “Are you the wife of the accused in this case?”  “Yes, I am.”  “You knew that he was a burglar when you married him?” “Yes I did.” “May I ask why you married such a man?” “You see, I was getting older and I had to make a choice between marrying a burglar or a lawyer.”

John was sitting outside his local pub when they enjoying a quiet night and generally feeling good about himself, When out of nowhere a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts to berate him and the evils of drinking. “You should be ashamed of yourself young man. Drinking is bad. Alcohol is the blood of the devil.” John gets pretty annoyed about this and goes on the offensive. “How do you know this, sister?”   “My mother superior told me so,”  she said.”So have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be so sure that what you are saying is right?”  “Don’t be ridiculous of course I have never taken alcohol myself.”   “Then let me buy you a drink if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for the rest of my life.” “How could I a nun, sit outside this public house drinking?”  “I’ll get the barman to put in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know.” The nun reluctantly agreed, so John goes inside the bar orders, “Another pint for me and a triple vodka on the rocks, then he lowers his voice and says to the barman and could you put the vodka in a teacup?”  The bartender bursts out, “Oh no, it’s not that nun again is it?”