June 18th Humor

“You seem to be in some distress,” said the kindly judge to the witness. “Is anything the matter?” “Well, your Honor,” said the witness, “I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.”

We had an old cat named Tiger that needed medication everyday. Needless to say the cat did not consider this a good time. So every night the husband would get a big towel wrap it around the cat. He wrestled the toweled cat between his knees and forced its mouth open and put the pill down its throat. This worked pretty well, until one night the squirming cat wiggled away and my husband dropped the pill which rolled across the floor. Tiger bounded after the pill and promptly ate it right up.

* Our daughter was at an Army retreat in the back woods of Georgia for a leadership training exercise. She had to spend 6 weeks living in the woods in primitive conditions. She called home one weekend and explained she had met one of the men and she was interested in him. She explained, “but because we are not allowed to wear makeup,  he really has no idea what I look like.”