June 7 Humor

 * The judge had gotten involved with the testimony dealing with a cantankerous Kentucky Colonel. Unable to get straight answers from the man the judge said: “They call you a Colonel, what regiment were you in?” The man drawled, “Wall, you see the Colonel in front of my name is like the honorable in front of your name, it don’t mean nothin’.”

 # The symphony orchestra and our union reached an agreement with the airlines about which instruments we could carry on board and which had to be shipped as luggage beneath in the cargo compartment. As a cellist, I was dismayed to find my delicate expensive wooden instrument was consigned to the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage compartment. I solved the problem, cello in hand I approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, “May I bring my clarinet on board”? Scanning her list of approved instruments, she replied, “Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip,” and smiling waved me on.

 @ The politician was pretty pumped since he felt he had delivered a wonderful stump speech that was educational and motivational. He looked out over the audience and asked, “Are there any questions?” One man in the rear raised his hand and asked, “Who else is running?”