March 10th Jokes

* The guide on our tour bus at Gettysburg drove around the battlefield and pointed out the sites. Curiously, every one of them celebrated the bravery and creativity of the Rebels in the battle. For example he pointed out  “That at this creek two brave boys from Georgia captured an entire Union regiment…”   One of the lady tourists spoke up and asked, “Didn’t the North win the battle of Gettysburg?” The guide snapped back, “Nope, and they ain’t gonna as long as I am driving this bus.”

@ Artist: “This is my latest painting. It’s called builders at work. It is a piece of realism.” Customer: “but, I don’t see any of the men at work.” Artist: “Of course not, that’s the realism part of it.”

I had my first kidney stone after I had played tennis; it was so painful I gave up tennis. A few years later, I had a second kidney stone right after having sex; I gave up tennis again.