March 11th Jokes

@ When a tornado hit our shopping mall, my friend Greg and I were worried about his parents, who owned a store in the complex. We hopped into my banged up, rusty Pinto and made our way out there. It looked like a war zone. Cars were torn apart and the news crews and the firemen were running all over. After checking on Greg’s parents we left the chaotic scene. That night on a TV newscast about the tornado, the announcer said, and here’s a sample of some of the damage done to the vehicles in the parking lot. The camera moved in for a close-up of my Pinto.

@ Watching television makes me feel really insecure. I found out that our highways are not safe, our houses are not safe, and the public parks are not safe. There is good news though my underarms are completely protected.

My wife was proud of her recent weight loss and went shopping to buy new clothes in smaller sizes. One day she was wearing her new jeans, and I noticed a sticker on the back of one of the pant’s legs back listed her size as “Eight Pettite.” I took the  tag off and handed it to her, she looked at it proudly, then winked and said, “Put it back on.”