March 17th Jokes

* Eating at a sidewalk café in California our waitress looked like a real surfer girl. Long bond hair, a great tan and athletic build. The girl waited as my wife mulled over the menu then my wife asked the waitress, “Is the roast beef rare?”   The girl replied, “Well no! We have it, like every day.”

* I was recently talking with a friend who bemoaned her families lack of holiday rituals. “My family doesn’t have any traditions,” she complained. “We just do the same thing year after year after year.”

@ Pat Muldoon, proprietor of an Irish pub, was busy pouring his noon day trade, while trying to keep a swarm of flies from the buffet table. When Mike Callahan, the town drunk and biggest mooch wandered in. Pat turned a deaf ear to his plea for a dip or brew on the cuff. When Mike offered to kill every one of the flies circling the buffet in exchange for a short one, Pat slid Pat slid a shot of whiskey across the bar. As soon as he downed it, Mike rolled up his sleeves and headed for the door. “All right, Muldoon,” he said, “send them out one at a time.”