March 21st Jokes

@ What’s the difference between an opera soprano and a Rottweiler?  Jewelry

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He asks, “”Sir, have you been drinking?”  “”Just water,’ says the priest. The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord, He has done it again.”

*  We invited our friends Bob and Sheila to a special dinner. While my wife, Leigh prepared the meal, I rushed out to buy just the right wine. Everything seemed perfect as we sat down at the dinner table, until I noticed that the ice bucket held an inferior wine. Honey, I said “please bring out the bottle I purchased tonight. Bob and Sheila deserved better than this.” “Dear,” my wife replied quietly, “Bob brought the wine.”