* To qualify for an “Are you smarter than a fifth grader” type contest there was an entry exam. One of the questions was: “What is the oldest desert in the world?” The man’s answer was “apple pie”.
@ My husband was just coming out of the anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital. I was sitting at his bedside when his eyes fluttered open and he murmured, “You’re beautiful.” Flattered, I continued my vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, “You’re cute.” I asked, “What happened to beautiful?” “The drugs are wearing off,” he replied.
*Three fellows die together and go to the pearly gates were St. Peter explains admission depends on a quick quiz, a mere formality. “I just have to ask you each a single question,” he explains, turning to the first guy. “What is Easter?” “That’s easy. Easter is when you celebrate the Pilgrims landing, you buy a turkey…” “Sorry,” interrupts St. Peter briskly turning to the second man asks, “What can you tell me about Easter?” ” No problem,” the second fellow promptly responded, ““Easter is to fully commemorate Jesus birth by going shopping and decorating a tree… ““No, no” St. Peter burst out in exasperation. He turned to the last guy, “I don’t suppose you know anything about Easter?” “Certainly I do. See Christ was crucified and died and they took the body down from the cross and put it into a cave.” St. Peter decides we’ve got someone here who actually knows his stuff. Then number three continues, “And after three days they rolled the stone away, and if he sees his shadow, there is going to be six more weeks of winter.”