March 6th Jokes

# Teaching freshman English at college in New York I have very strict about grammar and punctuation. One day as we read the works of the modern poet, a young woman seemed puzzled. “How come he uses capital letters in the middle of the sentence and misspell’s some of the words?” she asked. “That’s called poetic license,” I explained. “Oh,” she replied. “How can I apply for one.”

@ Sheldon: “I understand you have been going to a psychiatrist. Do you think that has helped you?” Lloyd: “It certainly has, only a few weeks ago when the phone rang I was afraid to answer it. Now I go right ahead and answer the phone whether it rings or not.”

A woman complained to the doctor about her husband’s lack of passion. “Give him one of these pills,” said to the doctor, “and the problem should be solved.” The next day the woman returned, “I gave my husband a pill and we waited but nothing happened. So he took a second pill within minutes he was crazed with passion he sent the dishes crashing to the floor as he swept the table clear with one hand flung me onto it with the other. You cured him, but it was more than I expected.”  “Oh, dear,” lamented the doctor, “I meant to warn you about taking more than one pill at a time. It’s my fault the least I can do is pay for your dishes.”  “Thanks,” said the woman, “but it really isn’t necessary. We’re never going back to that restaurant again anyway.”