Married with feline/i
Deborah Hodge of London, UK had a problem with landlords. She was a divorced mother with two children and a cat. “India” joined Deborah and her two children in 2017 and quickly became a beloved pet. This made her “personnna not so grata” for landlords. Being unemployed added to the stress of finding an apartment that would fit her budget. Her landlord told her that she could not stay in the apartment with “India.” She was beside herself trying to figure out what to do as she could not live without her children or her cat. So she got creative. That’s when the mum-of-two got the idea that if they were married, it would show any future landlord just how important it is for them to stay together.
Ms Hodge said that she had “nothing to lose and everything to gain” by wedding her pet. ‘By marrying India, I need any future landlords to know that we come as a package and we cannot be separated under any circumstances as she is as important to me as the children.” Decked out in a tuxedo, Deborah tied the knot with India at a civil ceremony presided over by her legally ordained friend. The five-year-old cat was draped in gold lamé for the big day. “I refuse to be parted with her. I’d rather live on the streets than be without India,” the Post reported that earlier this month. Ms Hodge and her pet feline wore tuxedo-style outfits for their wedding ceremony in a park in southeast London. India meowed through her vows as Ms Hodge’s friends watched. “I recited vows under the universe that no man will ever tear myself and India apart,” she said.
Unique Partnerships
I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, “Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately, right!”
My fiancé and I went to a councilor to work on our body language communication issues. Using herself as an example, the counsellor asked us to name her feelings. She crossed her legs and her arms and exhaled loudly. I was about to say she was showing signs of frustration, but my fiancé beat me to it, yelling, “I’ve got it! You’re constipated!”
“When I married Donna, I could get both hands around her waist,” said my husband’s grandfather. Pointing at his full-figured wife, he boasted, “Now look how much I got. That’s what I call an investment!”
A man tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination is over, he says, “Okay, Doctor. In plain English—what’s wrong with me?”
“Well, in plain English,” says the doctor, “you’re just lazy.”
The man nods. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
April 28th Birthdays
1974 – Penelope Cruz, 1981- Jessica Alba, 1960 – Elena Kagan, 1986 – Jenna Ushkowitz
1950 – Jay Leno, 1982 – Harry Shum, Jr. 1989 – Juan Mata, 1977 – Michael Carbonaro