May 5 Humor

* Each year Army reserve officers from every walk of life soldier during their two-week annual training. As an active duty officer during one such training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina was having trouble getting a lesson across to a reservist. “Look,” I said, “it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to get this right.” They Reservist stopped looked straight at me and replied, “but I am a rocket scientist.”

#  I went to the sporting goods store to buy a jogging suit for my wife who was an avid jogger. Not knowing the size, I explained she is five feet seven inches tall and weighs about 115 pounds. Maybe something in a size ten. I said that sounded pretty big to me. She called out to a lady clerk across the store, “What would you call a gal that is 5′ 7 and 115 pounds?”  “Lucky,” came the reply.

% A tourist was driving through Jackson Hole, Wyoming and saw some ranch hands driving cows along the highway. One of cowboys wore a baseball cap. The curious greenhorn woman pulled up alongside the cowboy and asked, “Why aren’t you wearing a cowboy hat?”  “Well ma’am,” said the cowboy, tugging on the hat’s brim, I didn’t want to look like a truck driver.”