May 8th Humor

# The regular gas station I go to, took away their free air hose and put in a machine that charged a dollar. I complained to the clerk that it was sad that they took away something that was free for years.  The clerk excused himself saying, “It’s not my fault, It’s inflation.”

Admission of an ER doc: A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Signs Seen on Doc’s Doors:
Sign over a gynecologist’s office “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
Door to endoscopy: “To expedite your visit, please back in”
Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “Hello. Can we pick your nose?”
In a non-smoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
On a maternity room door: “Push. Push. Push.”
At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve  come to the right place.”
In a podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”
In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”