November 10th Humor

* The Air Force and the Marines shared a base and that often created quite a rivalry between the services. As I left my work one day I smiled as I saw a bunch of Marines pulling on a long rope as their drill sergeant yelled out the cadence. The rope was pulling on a 44 passenger Air Force bus. I only got the extent of the rivalry between the forces when I looked back at the scene and saw the bright red taillights of the bus.

# A jungle explorer came to a clearing with many grass huts in it and approached the head man. “You people are lost to civilization.” The chief said “We don’t mind being lost, it is being discovered that worries us.”

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
“Janie, do you have a story to share?” “Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mummy. She was a Marine pilot and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.” “Good Heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?” “Don’t mess with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”