* The first mate on a ship got drunk for the first time in his life. The Ship’s captain, stern and rigid man, recorded this in his log, “The first mate got drunk today”. When the mate protested against the entry, explaining that if it remained in the log without further comment or explanation it could ruin his career because it suggested that drunkenness was not unusual for him, whereas he had never been drunk before. The captain, however, was adamant, stating that the log recorded the exact truth and therefore must stand as written. The next week it was the mates turn to write in the ship’s log on each day he wrote, “the captain was sober today.”
* The captain and the chief engineer argued about who was more important to the ship, they decided they would swap places to find out. After a couple of hours, the captain emerged from the engine room completely covered with oil and sweat, and confronted the engineer on the bridge. “Chief”, he yelled, wildly waving a wrench, “You have to come down, I can’t make her go”. “Of course you can’t”, replied the chief. “She’s aground.”
@ An East German and a West German were fishing on opposite sides of the river. The West German was pretty steadily pulling in fish after fish while Communist just watched and wiggled his line occasionally. Finally, the communist yelled across, “Why are you catching fish after fish and on this side I am not getting a nibble?” The West German thought for a minute and said, “Maybe on that side they are afraid to open their mouths”.