October 26 Humor

Guns always gave me the willies. But when my new job required me to transport valuables, I decided I needed one for protection. Since I knew next to nothing about firearms I joined a pistol club, hoping to pick up some much-needed pointers. After watching and evaluating my technique for a few weeks, the instructor pulled me aside. “Are you open to suggestion”? He asked. “Absolutely”, I replied. “Hire a bodyguard.”

My son was going to college. It would be the first time he would be on his own and as his mother I tried to teach him how to handle the necessities of life. We talked about doing his own laundry.  I explained about bleach and laundry detergent, how to sort clothes and how to read the care labels on garments. When we were all done, I asked, “Do you understand what we just went through?” He said,  “Yes” and I suggested the best way to learn was by doing. So we sorted the laundry and I sent him down stairs to do a couple of loads. He was down there for a while with no sound and then he called up the stairs, “Mom, which one is the washer?”

I don’t want to say that I live in a bad neighborhood, the criminals around here are so tough that they attack people with chewed off shotguns.