October 26th Humor

* I don’t want to say that I live in a bad neighborhood, the criminals around here so tough that they attack people with chewed off shotguns.

# My son was going to college. It would be the first time he would be on his own and as his mother I tried to teach him how to handle the necessities of life. We talked about doing his own laundry.  I explained about bleach and laundry detergent, how to sort clothes and how to read the care labels on garments. When we were all done, I asked, “Do you understand what we just went through?” He said,  “Yes,” and I suggested the best way to learn was by doing. So we sorted the laundry and I sent him down stairs to do a couple of loads. He was down there for a while with no sound and then he called up the stairs, “Mom, which one is the washer?”

@ As an avid skier, Eric listened every winter day to the ski report. He sprang to the phone when the announcer offered a free whole day’s lift tickets to the 7th caller. As soon as he dialed the number he was greeted with the magic words, “You are the winner.” He was so excited he jumped up and swung around, dropped the phone and lost the call.