October 5 Humor

* My mother had tried every diet she read about over the years without much beneficial effect. Suddenly she was eating practically nothing and exercising everyday. I asked her what the program was that had inspired all this effort. She went to the refrigerator and showed me the invitation to her 20th school reunion.

*Explaining my diet discipline to a friend: “if I make it through the day without eating ice cream, I reward myself with chocolate chip cookies.”

* My wife is a frequent dieter. After a determined effort one spring, she was feeling particularly pleased with herself: she had managed to get into a dress she had not been able to wear for years. As she headed out the door on her way to work, I mentioned that the label was sticking out of the neckline in the back.” It’s a 10,” she replied curtly “leave it where it is.”