* A party of clergymen were attending a Presbyterian conference in Scotland. Several of them set off to explore the district. Presently they came to a river with a bridge temporarily barricaded with a sign “Under Construction.”  Not paying attention to the sign that said it was unsafe, they began to cross it. The bridge keeper ran after them in protest. “It’s all right,” declared the spokesman of the group, not understanding the old man’s cry, “Were Presbyterians from the conference.”   “I’m no caring and aboot that,” was the reply, but “if you didn’t get off the bridge you’ll all be Baptists.”

# My father-in-law, who owned a used car lot, received an early-morning call from Han, the Vietnamese immigrant he had hired as a handyman. Han had heard a radio report about a blizzard that was headed their way he was worried about the cars outside in the lot. My father-in-law assured him that they would be fine where they were. Han then asked where the toilet tissue was because he was going to clean the restrooms, he was told it was locked office cabinet. “I don’t understand American ideas”, he sighed. “Thousands of dollars worth of cars out in the storm. but toilet paper is under lock and key.”

@ An enthusiastic fisherman was bragging about his trip to a Colorado river. One friend asked, “Are there really any trout in that river.” “Thousands of them,” came the reply.  “Will they bite easily?” came the next question. The traveler responded, “Will they bite? They are vicious. A man has to hide behind a tree to bait his hook.”