* Two senior farmers were talking over the fence. The first neighbor said, “I sure don’t think much of the weather prophet the government’s got on the radio, do you?”  “Well, let’s not do any complaining about it. Just think how bad it would be if the government started regulatin’ the weather instead of just predictin’ it.”

* Minister: “I’m sorry I didn’t see you at church yesterday, Fergus.” Fergus: “Well, you see the weather was so bad it was not fit to turn out a dog. but I sent my wife, sir.”

# The lady was trying to impress those at the party. “My family is ancestry is very old,” she said. “It dates back to the days of King John of England.” then returning to a lady sitting quietly in a corner she asked condescendingly: “How old is your family, my dear?”  “Well,” said the woman with a quiet smile, “I can’t really say. All my family records were lost in the flood.”