* I knew a guy with such a bad case of insomnia that the sheep got tired and quit.

* A man was complaining of insomnia. “Even counting sheep is no good. I counted 10,000, sheared them, combed the wool, and it spun into cloth, made it into suits, took the suits into town and lost $21 on the deal. So I haven’t been able to sleep for a week.”

@ A man ran into the drug store and commanded the pharmacist to give him something right away to stop the hiccups. The pharmacist slapped him across the face. The man demanded to know why he had been struck. The pharmacist declared, “You don’t have hiccups now do you?” “No”, answered the young man, “but my wife in the car does.”