* Two palookas had both taken money to throw a fight. They sparred for a couple of rounds and then by accident one guy actually hit the other with a punch. The fighter immediately swooned and fell to the mat, thereby winning his bribe. The other fighter paced around the ring knowing he was in trouble now. As the referee counted,  the potential winner had a brain storm. He ran over to his prostrate opponent and kicked him. That disqualified him and the other fighter was declared the winner.

@ Two disillusioned college presidents were commiserating and imagining what they would do if they could start over. The first said, “I would like to run an orphanage, that way there would be no irate parents to deal with.”  The second said, “I would rather run a penitentiary, There would be no alumni pressure groups.”

* The fighter was in his corner on the stool as the trainer worked over the cuts around  his eyes and washed his bloody face. The trainer said, “I think he has you whipped Johnny.”  The boxer said, “Yeah, I know. I should have gotten him right away in the first round, when he was by himself.”