* Did you see in the Sharper Image Catalog they have a new Cricket watch that will never need batteries. It has a Swiss movement and keeps great time. You just have to wind it every day.

* Patron at a bar: “What time do you have bar keep?”    Bartender: “I don’t have a watch anymore. I spent 500 bucks on a watch that was waterproof, dustproof, shockproof, and calibrated itself 16 times per second.”    The patron asked, “Well where is it?”    Bartender: “It caught Fire.”

@ A collector of rare books ran into an old friend who confessed that he had just thrown away a very old tattered bible that had been handed down in his family for generations. He had just mentioned that the book was in German and had the name “Guten” on it. “Not Gutenberg” the book dealer gasped. “Yes, that was the name on the binding I am pretty sure.”   “You idiot, you have thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy like that sold for $400,000.”  “Oh don’t get upset, this one was not worth a dime. Some guy name Luther had scribbled all over it.”