* I was driving with my sister in law in the passenger seat. She has this annoying habit of saying everything three times in a row.  As I drove down the street, she blurted out: “slow down, slow down, slow down.” Just to show her who was boss I said “shut up” and stepped on the gas to go even faster down the street. When I looked in the rearview mirror I saw a motorcycle cop behind me with his lights flashing. It seemed a long time as the cop made his way off the bike and to the side window. “What’s the hurry he asked?” My sister in law piped up, “Give him a ticket officer, give him a ticket , give him a ticket.” The cop asked me if I knew what the speed limit here was. My sister in law piped up again with, “He is always speeding, always, always.”  The policeman asked me to get out of the car. I thought he was going to arrest me. At the rear of the car he looked over my license and registration and then turned to me saying, “You can go, but drive more carefully next time. I have one at home just like her.”

* A woman in our town called the police department and complained, “People are speeding on our street. Endangering the lives of children walking to school”. The next morning she herself was stopped for speeding. “But, officer”, she said, “I’m the person called yesterday to tell the police about the speeders”. “Well then, ma’am”, he replied, “handing her a ticket you should be really happy we caught one.”

* My brother was alarmingly me by speeding through a red light. I  said “What if the traffic cameras are watching you?”  “Stop worrying”. He sighs, “It doesn’t matter if they are watching or not,” he assured me.  ” I don’t have license plates yet.”