* I was teaching a group of immigrants an English as a second language class and we came upon the word “straight.” I wrote the word on the board and asked if anyone knew what that word was. A man raised his hand and said “that word is straight.” I congratulated him on being able to decipher the crazy American spelling and asked him if he knew what the word meant. He said he knew that too. “it means without ginger ale.”

* America is the land that people will risk their lives and cross oceans to come to and then are not willing to stand in line to vote to keep it free.

@ While we stood at attention during a parade the Pvt. next in the ways to someone in the audience. Our drill instructor turned and whispered. “Jones, never do that again.”  A few minutes later the soldier waved the second time back in the barracks after the parade the DI barreled in and barked for Jones to come front and center . “Son, you knew I was going to see you,” he screamed, “you know it was wrong, aren’t you afraid of me?”   “Yes Sir,” replied Jones, “but you don’t know my mother.”