* The lawyer questioned the witness at a misdemeanor trial. “just because a man is on his hands and knees in the middle of the street, does that prove he is drunk? The policeman replied, “No sir it does not prove that he was drunk, but this guy was trying to roll up the white line.”

@ Mrs. Mather was going to be returning home tomorrow ending her visit with her daughter. She asked her son in law if he knew what time the plane left tomorrow. He replied looking at this watch, “Sixteen hours, seventeen minutes and thirty seconds from now”.

* At closing time Clancy was getting himself together for the walk home. He looked around and asked, “Has anyone seen me vest?” “Sure, Clancy you are wearing it, right now.” “Right and I am and it is a good thing you found it or I’d have gone home without  it.”