* Did you see in the Sharper Image Catalog they have a new Cricket watch that will never need batteries. It has a Swiss movement and keeps great time. You just have to wind it every day.

* Patron at a bar: “What time do you have bar keep”? Bartender: “I don’t have a watch anymore”. I spent 500 bucks on a watch that was waterproof, dustproof, shockproof, and calibrated itself 16 times per second.” The patron asked, Well where is it? Bartender: “It caught Fire”.

@ How do you make an Elephant fly… First you start with a very large zipper.