* I was visiting a friend of mine in Los Angeles when we were awakened around 6 AM by telephone call from her sister-in-law who lives on the East Coast. She was quite worried because she said, “Are you okay? I just heard on the radio that you had an earthquake about eight o’clock this morning”. “No, we didn’t”, my friend replied, “everything is fine here”. There was a short pause and then her sister-in-law said, “Oh, I forgot, we are three hours ahead of you.”

* When I moved to California I was a nervous wreck about earthquakes. My friend Linda, was born and raised there, was completely blasé. I remember once when we pulled up to a light, her Honda began to shake. She looked worried until I stammered, “I think were having an earthquake”.   “Thank goodness”, Linda said. “I thought something was wrong with my car.”

@ “Your Honor,” the defense lawyer began, “My client has been defamed as an incorrigble bank robber without a single redeeming feature and I intend to disprove that.” The judge nodded and asked, “How do you hope to accomplish that?”  By proving beyond a shadow of a doubt than the note he presented to the teller that day was on recycled paper.”