* A small boy stood by the department store escalator apparently eagerly waiting for some great event. The floor walker came up as the young man was studying the rubber handrail coming up out of the floor. “Is there something wrong son”, he asked. The boy replied, “Nope, I am just waiting for my gum to come back around again”.

* I don’t want to say that inflation is running away but at the mall I saw gumball machine that took dollar bills.

@ Mr. Inebriate was leaning against the bar holding his hands cupped together and every few seconds would open his thumbs and peek inside his hands, first with one eye and then the other. One of his bar mates asked the obvious question: “What have you got in there?” “You have to guess said the drunk smiling. “A butterfly?’   “Nope”  “A hummingbird?” The drunk peeked in again and said, “Nope” Well, I don’t know maybe an elephant?” The drunk looked through his thumbs again and demanded, “What color?”