* The company that printed our Christmas cards made a terrible mistake they printed them backwards so now the headline on the front cover reads  “Leon Leon”.

@ My first wife divorced me on grounds of incompatibility, and besides, I think she hated me.

% Mark Twain was famous for debating people. He got into a debate with a Mormon about polygamy. The Moroman asked Twain, “Can you tell me one verse of the bible that says polygamy is forbidden?:” Twain sucked up a deep breath and said, “Sure it says in there somewhere, No man can serve two masters.”