* One Moscow father was complimenting his comrade on the fine sons he had raised. He said you must be really proud of your boys. One is a people’s doctor and one is a people’s lawyer and one is a people’s artist. “They are fine boys” the father said, “but the one I am proudest of is in America”. “Oh, What does he do in America?”   “He sends money to us every month so that we all can eat the people’s food”.

* A very important Russian government official was riding through the Balkans when he saw a farmer out in his field on his knees praying. He stopped the car and stomped over to the man. “Why are you wasting your time praying when you should be plowing and planting for the party?”     The farmer answered, “But Commissar, I was praying for the party.”      “Huh, Praying for the party. Years ago you probably prayed for the Czar.”      “Yes, I did, Commissar.”    “Well…look what happened to the Czar.”   The farmer smiled and said, “Right.”

@ The United States is the only country in the world where a woman hires a cleaning lady to take care of her house so she can volunteer at the day care where the cleaning lady leaves her children.