* I was flattered when my son asked me to make a loaf of bread for him to share with his buddies. The bread came out a lot flatter than I had hoped, but my son was happy to get it and take it out to his buddies. A little later I looked out on my son with his catcher’s mitt, standing over my bread. They were using it for home plate.

@ Two senior men were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room. One man turned to the other as they stared at the Overhead TV screen and Said, “I used to watch Golf all the time on TV, but the doctor said I needed more exercise, so now I watch tennis”.

% I got mugged by a magician. It’s not funny he took my wallet, my watch, in even the silver dollar I had behind my ear.