* Our granddaughter was asked to write a story for her second grade class about her personal hero. She chose her father and he was tickled to hear that.

“Why did you pick me” he asked.

The girl replied, “Because I could not spell Arnold Schwarzennegger.”

@ My new secretary presented a letter for me to sign near the end of the day. Unfortunately, I found a mistake in it. I signed it and gave back to her anyway to be mailed, but she did not want to have it go out that way and reran the letter. When I came back to the office, there was the letter with a post it note on it marked “Please Resign.”

#  A marine recruiter stopped in a little southern town and noticed that on several trees there were targets painted with bullet holes dead center. Being curious he looked around and sure enough there were similar bull’s-eyes on junk cars and old buildings. He decided this marksman might be a good candidate for the marines. He asked about the shooter and was directed to the town fool. Incredulously, he asked how did you learn to shoot so straight? The fool answered, “It is easy I just shoot first and then paint the targets afterward”.