* A husband was excitedly calling the relatives to give them the good news of their newborn babies. He called his mother-in -law and told her, “We have twins.”  She was a little hard of hearing and asked, “Could you repeat that.” He answered, “I doubt it, I was surprised it happened the first time.”

@ Secret Service guys are very brave. What other job are you asked to take a bullet for your boss? Well, other than working at 711.

# My 17 year old niece was looking for a job so her mother scoured the want ads with her. “Here’s one, a couple are looking for someone to watch their two kids and do light housekeeping. “Helllooo” said my niece, rolling her eyes. “I can’t take that job. I don’t know anything about lighthouses”.