* The policeman late at night stopped a man walking down the street wearing a barrel. The cop asked, “are you a poker player?” “No” the man replied, “but I just left some fellows who are.”

* I got a great deal on a Rembrandt painting from his black velvet period. It was very educational. I did not know dogs played poker in the 16th century.

@ John Kennedy was campaigning in a small Midwestern town and after a short speech took some time to shake hands and sign autographs. A line formed and a little red haired boy came through the line looking familiar. The president asked him, “Say, didn’t I sign this for you before?”  “Yes you did”, the boy said, “But I was hoping you could write a little plainer this time.”