* A friend’s daughter works in a large bookstore is often used by the combinations of books that customers choose. She found it particularly funny when a woman approached the checkout counter with two bestsellers. The first was titled “Conversations with God”. The second “How to argue and win every time”.

@ Liberals don’t want to punish anyone. Liberals think they can reform anyone. If they made Listerine the motto would be, “Listerine helps rehabilitate germs that cause bad breath.”

* Did you hear that they’re starting to make James Bond movies again but now they’ll probably have to use politically correct names for women like, “Brains of plenty”.