* My grandson Tanner recently visited a fire station on the kindergarten field trip. While reviewing safety tips, the fire chief task, “What do you do if your clothes on fire”? Tanner replied, “wear something else”.

* A man phoned the local fire department one night and asked, “Is this where I report a fire?” “Yes”, he was told. “Listen”, said the man. “I just moved in here, I spent thousands of dollars in my yard.  I hired a great landscaper… “Where is the fire?” interrupted the officer at the station.  The man continued, “We dug out all the old stuff, we put a new lawn and trees.”  “Is your house on fire now?” asked the officer. “No”, said the man, “but the one next door is and I don’t want anybody come in and ruin my flowers.”

@ One day my wife got so confused driving downtown that she ended up driving up the side of building. The worst part was she ran into another confused woman who was driving down the building.