* Do you want a boy or girl? A friend asked our five-year-old, Ryan. During my wife’s seveneth month of pregnancy. By then Ryan had heard the proverbial answer many times. “We don’t care if it is a boy or girl”, he replied, “just as long as it’s wealthy”.

# A visitor asked a native Russian to explain the new government policy of openness or “Perestroika” to him. He said, “Imagine I have two tin pails. One is empty and the other is full of potatoes. I keep pouring the potatoes back and forth from one bucket to the other.” The America asked, “I don’t get it. you keep moving the potatoes around, but nothing has changed.” The wily Russian said, “Ah, but the noise you that it makes, that is Perestroika.”

* We had just moved to a lovely, quiet apartment building, but my husband and I were a little concerned to discover that the neighbors all seemed to be elderly. We wondered how they would react to our baby and our large, boisterous sheepdog. My fears were heightened one afternoon when I answered the doorbell to find a frail looking woman leaning on her cane at the front door. Assuming she had come to complain about the babies crying I began to stammer an apology. But she lifted one hand to halt my speech and asked, “I just wanted to know if your dog could come out and play”.