Revenge of the River Kangaroo
Cliff Des was at his Ballina, Australia home last week when “a rogue kangaroo chased down the terrified man and attacked him. The encounter with the animal was captured on CCTV footage. “A six foot buck roo in a bad mood” sneaked up from the river and tried to rip his dogs out of the front yard. Cliff tried to shoo the animal away, leading to his tussle with the marsupial. “It just put its claws up, stood on its back feet and started chasing me,” Mr. Des told Today on Tuesday. “I started running into my yard grabbed the tree there and next thing you know I’ve slipped over and it’s jumped on my back.” In the video you will see Mr. Des grabbed a stick that he spotted nearby and started swinging at the kangaroo which backed him into a corner against a fence. “I fought it off with a stick and after three whacks … it snapped like a carrot,” he said.
“I thought, this thing means business, it’s going to mongrel me real good.” Mr. Des then wrestled the animal to the ground. “I was on the ground for five minutes after that wrestling it. It tried to gouge my face, I put my head down so I gouged me on the top of my head. It bit my finger … it put its back claw about an inch and a half into my leg.” Luckily, Mr. Des manages to successfully pin the kangaroo to the ground. He is able to suppress the beating as he ends up on top. When Cliff finally made his escape the kangaroo attempted to get one last shot in, chasing him around the car and into the yard. But despite his close encounter and being left with quite a few battle scars, Mr. Des still has warm feelings towards kangaroos. “They’re a beautiful creature, they’re an Australian icon … what I can take from the whole scenario is just don’t go near them,” he said.
Hopping mad
I always thought I had anger issues and was anti-social
but after spending time on Facebook, I’m apparently well-adjusted and normal.
Did you hear about the beer made entirely out of rabbits, frogs and kangaroos?
It’s mostly hops.
A kangaroo hops into the bar, the bartender, says, “Sorry we’re closed.”
The kangaroo says, “I thought you needed a bouncer.”
I walked into work and my boss handed me a brochure on anger management.
Then I just lost it.
June 1st Birthdays
1926 – Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith, 1974 – Alanis Morrissette, 1973 – Heidi Klum, 1982 – Amy Shumer
1934 – Pat Boone, Morgan Freeman, 1996 – Tom Holland, 1985 – Nick Young