September 20th Humor

@ Then there was the Texan who was seeing a psychiatrist. His trouble was that he kept forgetting the Alamo.

@ “What’s the usual tip?” the man growled at the college boy delivering his pizza. “Well, the student replied, this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I’d be doing great.”   “Is that so?” “Well in. that case, Here here is five dollars.”  “‘Thanks,” the student said, “I’ll put it in my college fund.”   ” By the way, what are you studying?”    “Psychology.”

A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the exam, she shyly, haltingly said, “My husband wants me to ask you…,”  to which the doctor replies, “I know, I know,” placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.”  “No, that’s not it,” the woman confessed. “He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”