September 21st Humor

@ The eminent defense lawyer recognized the thug that was holding him up. “Look here,” he protested, “I am your benefactor. Don’t you recall that I once saved you from a life sentence by proving you crazy?” “Sure,” “I remember you now,” the thug said as he continued his work. “And ain’t holding  up your own lawyer crazy?”

To celebrate our wedding anniversary, my wife and I always give each other small presents. However, on our 10th anniversary, I surprised her with a pair of diamond  earrings. When I opened my present and held up the bag of gourmet popcorn she said, “I knew I should’ve gotten you the bigger size.”

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.  Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.