September 4th Humor

# Sign at the edge of town. “You are now leaving Los Angeles county. Resume normal breathing.”

Several friends and I were commiserating about how difficult it is to get our kids to eat healthy foods. Maria told us about the time she sent some cookies made with bran, carob and other wholesome ingredients to school in her daughter’s lunch box. The little girl came home that afternoon and said, “Mom, you have to make some more of those cookies.” Thrilled Maria said, “Oh, you really like them?” “No,” her daughter replied, “but the other kids did and one of them traded me a Twinkie for them.”

# A newcomer to a small New England town was in the general store and noticed that the owner seemed to be very solicitous to one customer, not his usual demeanor. As he brought his purchases to the counter,  he remarked, “I noticed that you treated that last customer with a great deal of respect.”  The owner replied, “He is one of our early settlers.” The customer looked puzzled and said, “He did not look to be even forty years old?”    “I don’t know how old he is.” answered the grocer, “He always settles his bill on the first of the month.”