September 4th Humor

* Did you notice how they say George Washington never told a lie but they never make the same claim about Lincoln. Do you think this has anything to do with his being a lawyer?

@ The gang of Canadian lumber jacks were really getting tired of the same old camp food day after day. One Friday they pooled their money and sent one of the guys into town to bring back some real food. When the courier returned he had 10 bottles of whiskey and a loaf of bread. The men complained that he had wasted their money asking, “What are we going to do with all that bread.”

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cubs fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Cubs fans too. Not really knowing what a Cubs fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.  There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Cubs fan.”  Then, asks the teacher, what are you?  “Why I’m proud to be a St. Louis Cardinals fan,” boasts the little girl.  The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cardinals fan.  “Well, my dad and mom are Cardinals fans, and I’m a Cardinals fan too.”  The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”  A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says the girl, “I’d be a Cubs fan.”