September 8th Humor

* A husband was excitedly calling the relatives to give them the good news of their newborn babies. He called his mother-in -law and told her, “We have twins.”  She was a little hard of hearing and asked, “Could you repeat that.” He answered, “I doubt it, I was surprised it happened the first time.”

The judge asked the bailiff, “What crime has this man committed?” The bailiff said, “He was a witness when a perp robbed a store and killed the owner. We are holding him as a witness.” The judge asked, “And where is the killer?”  the Bailiff explained, “he is out on bail.”

# Women have better best friends than men do. Because man’s best friend is a dog and a girls best friend is a diamond and a diamond does not make a mess on the rug.