There is an advantage to being fat

There is an advantage to being fat

A thief in Fresno, California took advantage of his portliness and oversized clothes while shopping at a home and garden store. He thought he was secretly sticking a full sized chainsaw in his pants and covering the engine with his big jacket. Surveillance video shows the man in action. The suspect drove off in a silver late-1990s Ram pickup truck, according to the store’s owner, Jeff Bennett. He believes an accomplice was watching the location last week.

A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So, he sticks it down his pants. Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, “Hey! Is that a record in your pants?” The man replies, “Well, it may not be a record, but I haven’t heard any complaints.”

A 60 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied: a can of peaches. The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6. The judge then said, “I will give you 6 days in jail.” Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge allowed it, “What is it?” The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store… with a pricing gun… She said, “Give me all of the money in the vault, or I’m marking down everything in the store…”