1000 Pounds and no respect

1000 Pounds and no respect

Some females starve and primp to look thin, young and athletic. This girl just loves to eat. “Beadnose” is internationally known now, having won Alaska’s 2018 fattest bear contest. Her victory culminates “fattest bear week” at the Katmai National Park. Actually, a male named “747” may be bigger, but Beadnose clinched the judge’s votes in the talent section of the contest… Go ahead, eat that donut.

 

A Koala Bear enters a restaurant. After consuming an excellent meal, the bear calls the waiter to the table, pulls out a gun, shoots into the ceiling and exits. The police are called to investigate this strange case. The manager says, “Well actually, it’s quite common in some parts of the world”. He then flips open a dictionary and points
to an entry:

KOALA (noun) Small lovable marsupial, native to Australia. Eats shoots and leaves.

 

Q: Why aren’t Teddy bears ever hungry?
A: Because they’re always stuffed.

 

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?
A: They have the same middle name.

 

Q: What do you call a bear that has no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.