Dear Canada,
Please come get your geese. They’re shitting on everything.
Love, America
Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.
Scientists are baffled by Canadians’ ability to watch movies and play video games and not shoot each other.
English speaking Canadians know the French equivalents of “free”, “prize”, and “no sugar added”, thanks to our extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.