Getting rid of big neighbors
Newton Howard, 53, placed Two large Transformers sculptures outside his Georgetown (Washington, DC) rowhouse in Jan. 2021, and the smaller of the two (Optimus Prime) was eventually swapped out for a bigger version. In 2021 the local zoning board gave Newton a variance to replace two very large bowl shaped planters with brick pedestals for his oversized toys. Of course the robots, right out of the cartoons, were hits for many folks who traveled through Georgetown neighborhood both walking and driving. The Transformers are sculptures of Optimus Prime and Bumblebee each standing between six and 10 feet tall, and made of repurposed car parts. Newton’s row house is valued around $4 million on Prospect Street NW, only a block from Georgetown University. The sculptures drew complaints from some neighbors who complained that Howard had placed the hulking sculptures on a public sidewalk and without concern for the neighborhood’s historic aesthetics. Newton insisted that the sculptures were art that expressed his fascination with idea of humans coexisting with machines, and argued that they were placed on either side of his front door where planters were once located; many homes along Prospect Street similarly have space for planters jutting out onto the sidewalk.
The neighbors complained and complained and when the local zoning board would not take back their variance the group went higher in the government. “We hope that these statues will disappear in the not-too-distant future,” said Alan Brangman, chair of the three-person federal board that reviews any exterior changes made to homes and businesses in the Georgetown historic district. “They need to be removed immediately,” said board member Ashley Wilson. But whether that actually happens remains to be seen. Dr. Newton Howard, who put them up outside his home, said in an email on Thursday afternoon that he’ll fight to keep them in place. “I will defend those sculptures from being taken down by anyone. Children love them, they even leave flowers for them sometimes,” he wrote. “I cannot let negative thinking and outdated thoughts prevail over progressive impact for love and inclusion.”
Howard never removed the sculptures; in fact, he switched out Optimus Prime for an even bigger Optimus Prime, and put the smaller one on the roof of his house. (It can be seen from the street; more on this later.) Crowds kept coming to view the Transformers, and a reviewer from the D.C. Office of Planning found the sculptures “to be a lively addition to the streetscape” and said they did not impede passage on the sidewalk or pose any other risk. “These are massive robots. “We have motorcycle gangs that show up and block the middle of the street to take photos, we have cars that idle, we have tour buses… you name it, we have it. We have no access to our sidewalks. People yell and spit at us if we don’t stop when they want to take a selfie. “We have to recognize that not every neighbor considers these statues disruptive. All the university students who live across the street… consider these Transformers to be of profound public importance,” he said. The ANC ultimately voted to oppose Howard’s request for a public space permit, saying he had failed to consistently engage with the commission and had not followed the same process other neighbors do. “People have stuff on their planters, from Santa to a foreign flag,” he said. “Why is this one such a big deal and confusing them and so overcomplicated for no reason? I have no idea.”
Transformative humor
I just flew in from a Transformers convention.
And boy my arms are tires.
What would RoboCop be called if he was a Transformer?
Stoptimus Crime
I went to a psychiatrist for six months, I thought I was a dog.
“That had to be rough. Did they cure you?” “Oh yeah, I am doing great now. Just feel my nose.”
A man was playing golf one sunny afternoon when he hit his ball into a pond. As he approached the water to retrieve his ball, he noticed a small frog sitting on a lily pad.
To his surprise, the frog spoke up and said, “Excuse me, sir, but I’m not actually a frog. I’m a beautiful princess under a curse. If you kiss me, I’ll transform back into my true form, and I’ll be forever grateful.”
The man, startled, picked up the frog and put it into his pocket. As he continued playing golf, the frog called out, “Hey, didn’t you hear what I said? I’m a princess! Please, if you kiss me, I’ll turn back into a princess!”
The man replied, “Sorry, but at my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”
July 18th Birthdays
1980 – Kristen Bell, 1961 – Elizabeth McGovern, 1983 – Priyanka Chopra
1918 – Nelson Mandela, 1921 – John Glenn, 1947 – Steve Forbes,1951 – Richard Branson