Swimming 29 miles in handcuffs
49-year-old New Yorker Michael Moreau jumped off the southern tip of Manhattan and didn’t emerge until he’d swum up the East River, through the Harlem and down the Hudson to complete the famed and formidable 28.5-mile loop. The flutter kicker did it all in handcuffs, and in well under 10 hours. Moreau’s felony-flavored feat earned him two Guinness World Records — one for completing the longest open-water swim in handcuffs, and one for becoming the first (and fastest) swimmer to circumnavigate the city’s waterways in shackles. Why? “Why do anything?” Capri Djatiasmoro, a fellow marathon swimmer and member of Moreau’s support crew, asked. She conquered the same 20 Bridges Swim Around Manhattan — albeit with the luxury of all her limbs — on her 63rd birthday in 2014, and said the rush of the open water feels as illicit as Moreau’s steel-strapped wrists symbolized. “After I swim, I’m high as a kite,” said Djatiasmoro.
Michael is a creative director on land, has long been a fish in the water. “According to my parents, I could swim before I could walk,” he said. “I pretty much told them, before I could even speak, that my desire was to be in the water. That’s what I was made to do and where I was made to thrive.” Moreau made waves as a high school and college swimmer, winning national championships and setting at least one record that still stands today. But he eventually hung up his goggles — and didn’t pick them up for the better part of 20 years. Then, in his mid-40s, the water called. Freestyle phenoms like Diana Nyad and Ross Edgley seeped into his social feeds. He couldn’t shake the feeling there was more in the tank. Michael wanted Ultramarathon open-water swimming, or generally any non-pool, nonstop outdoor swim over 10 kilometers.
“I wonder if there’s something a little bit off the beaten path that is a little bit more controversial,’” Moreau thought. There was: handcuffs. The jailbird jangles had restricted Egyptian pro swimmer Shehab Allam‘s wrists in 2022. His record-holding 11.6 kilometers was the distance to beat. “The first thing that went through my head is the same thing that I think goes through a lot of people’s heads: That’s wild. Why would you even do anything like that?” Moreau said. But the next thing that went through his head was an aquatic equation he became determined to solve: If up to 90% of a swimmer’s propulsion comes from their arms, how does one swim when their hands are tied? “Then to me,” Moreau said, “it became more of a technical challenge.” Looking back, the triumph left Moreau with more than two Guinness World Record plaques and one case of cellulitis, a painful but treatable bacterial infection, in both legs. “This is really a testament that there’s no limit to how big you can dream,” he said. “You should never stop doing that.”
In the swim handcuffed
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “I was snooping around in my wife’s dresser drawers while she was gone over the weekend on a ‘business trip’ and you won’t believe what I found. A whip, a mask and handcuffs! Do you know what this means???” he exclaims to the bartender. “My wife is a super hero!”
Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?
They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm.
A Muslim woman is getting arrested. The police officer handcuffs her and says,
“You have the right to remain silent” he says.
She suddenly starts laughing. The police officer notices, and questions her behavior.
“Why, you see, I’m just happy to finally have a right!”
Why doesn’t Cuba have Olympic swimmers?
Because they can make it here.
December 5th Birthdays
1995 – Alexandra Beaton , 1968 – Margaret Cho, 1985 – Lauren London, 1975 – Paula Patton
1901 – Walt Disney, 1985 – Frankie Muniz, 1992 – Christian Yelich, 1952 – Jim Tressel